Huile'f d'olive

Pale

huilefdolive — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 17:03:25 +0000

The world seems not the same,
Though I know nothing has changed.
It’s all my state of mind,
I can’t leave it all behind.
Have to stand up to be stronger.

Have to try to break free
From the thoughts in my mind.
Use the time that I have,
I can’t say goodbye,
Have to make it right.
Have to fight, cause I know
In the end it’s worthwhile,
That the pain that I feel slowly fades away.
It will be alright.

I know, should realize
Time is precious, it is worthwhile.
Despite how I feel inside,
Have to trust it’ll be all right.
Have to stand up to be stronger.

I have to try to break free
From the thoughts in my mind.
Use the time that I have,
I can’t say goodbye,
Have to make it right.
Have to fight, cause I know
In the end it’s worthwhile,
That the pain that I feel slowly fades away.
It will be all right.

Oh, this night is too long.
Have no strength to go on.
No more pain, I’m floating away.
Through the mist see the face
Of an angel, who calls my name.
I remember you’re the reason I have to stay.

huilefdolive — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 18:21:40 +0000

It is snowing outside again today. I know that you do not like cold weather, but it will just be quite nice to sit next to a fire place with you watching snow falling.

Wondering what you are doing today. Maybe having coffee, or watching TV with your dog.

Many World Theory

huilefdolive — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 21:29:34 +0000

I am reading a book on Hugh Evertt’s Many-world Theory. It describes there are parallel universes which exist for every possibility of a decision event. The possibility of an event does not collapse to what we observe or choose, but there exists branches of other version, actually every other version, in another world.

So, everytime I wish you are there next to me, I know that there is a world in which we are together.

Quiet times

huilefdolive — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 00:05:52 +0000

How are you doing lately?

There are these quiet times,

you brought around here.

Sitting here and wonder

why the perfect love happens

but you are not always here

why two different minds can feel so close together

why the thoughts of you can keep me warm,

as winter is coming.

Unpublished Post

huilefdolive — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 01:23:54 +0000

I found this from the drafted folder. The date is July 9, 2008. I believe that is the week right after your decision of exit. Time was 6:03pm. I probably was sitting there by myself after everyone left and writing this blog. It is interesting reading my unpublished draft a year later. So I decide to share it – there was a lot of uncertainy for the future and hopes of course, lots yet to be found out when I wrote that post. One thing I was right about was we do not see each other every day anymore…

Last edited on July 9 2008, 6:03pm, here it goes the unpublished post:

Thanks for the picture painting effort during lunch, as I received a series of flood warnings down south.

I am trying to tell myself that things will be better after you leave. Maybe I can be more focused on working and more productive. Maybe I can have time to work out during lunch hours. Maybe I can go home a little earlier. Maybe … Maybe I really do not care about all the things that I have just said and I will only be thinking of you all the time.

Maybe we will not be able to see each other every day anymore, but we will sit closer when we get the chance to have lunch.

Walking Shoes

huilefdolive — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 19:10:17 +0000

It is a gloomy day here again. However, I enjoy sitting in my office and listening to solo piano while working.

Wondering how is the weather like where you are.

I saw a pair of very light and soft walking shoes in the store – I like very narrow and slim ones which have just enough protection without being a burden. Those are perfect for walking, as long as the road is generally flat, not covered with small pebbles. I was looking for two paris, one for you and one for me – we can wear them while taking a walk together. Usaully I am not into mathing outfit, or generally anything. But, I think that you will like a pair of comfortable shoes, since you love walking. My dad always told me that shoes are the most important piece for an outfit, as it is the base of everything else.

Don’t know what size of shoes you wear? Otherwise it will just be so neat to send a pair of walking shoes to you on your Birthday. So, you can always change into them and take a walk whenever you feel like. Maybe I should send two pairs, so you will have one extra pair stored somewhere under your office cabinet and they will happen to be my size.

Knowing

huilefdolive — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 21:33:40 +0000

We cannot stop seeking new knowledge and capabilties, as knowing is the motive of going forward. When sitting in the office reading about financial modeling or researching on economic models becomes actually quite therapeutic, I know that you can share my appreciation.
You told me once that you think of me when you read something interesting. Same here… even reading financial models. Not sure how romantic that is, but it is some true and unique sharing there.

Spring is here

huilefdolive — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 15:52:10 +0000

The flowers are blooming in my front lawn and they are light violet color. When new leaves are showing the first shade of green, I am also starting a new adventure. I cannot wait to embrace unknown challenges ahead although a little nervous at back of my mind. Well, life without challenges is unsatisfactory, no matter what kind of abilities one has. Of course, brilliant ones have more difficulties in seeking challenges, and hence a satisfactory life. That is almost another version of “winner’s curse”. Hence we are destined to keep on walking forward without the luxury of lingering in life. Maybe you are right that people like us do not have homes.
Today maybe the last day of ending season, and I cannot help looking back to many memories I had around every corner of this space. I miss those times, and realize that it is hardly possible to ever return to that down the road. Hence, it is time for me to put old days in a shoe box and move on to a new day.
I can see spring coming today, although it is rainy. Called you for lunch, but you were busy. However, no worries, I know you are always somewhere close, because I can see us walking in the coming spring.

Happy New Year

huilefdolive — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 01:25:36 +0000

Just realized that I have not been writing my blog lately.

It has been a quite hectic month.

Compared to this time last year, lots have happened, and lots have changed. I laughed, I cried and I grew.

I am looking forward to the next year. It will be a special year, just like this one. Maybe I have bring a closure for myself, and maybe a new beginning as well.

Happy New Year to you!

Love the virus!

huilefdolive — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 00:09:40 +0000

I had a great day last Thursday to be “sick” and out of the office and get to spend one day with you.

It makes me feel that I am back to be a little girl who used to escape classes by telling little lies to the teacher with the abosutely innocent look.

Well, harmless lies in trade of having the chance to hide away from the world and celebrate being myself.

Wondering how you are doing in Sonoma? Surely, you know how to enjoy yourself, as usual.

Wwondering if you still think of me from time to time … just a few seconds with a secretive smile.